From Online To In line
Love on the Net has people lining
up for visas

Part II

Online Love / Immigration  1,  2 ,  3

The Dark Side  (you knew there had to be one)

The Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) has long been concerned with the mail order bride business, where young foreign women seek older wealthy men in the USA, presumably for green card benefits. While US matrimonial law accepts these unions as legitimate, the INS recognizes no arranged marriages with very few religion-based exceptions. Along the same lines and with the identical premise in mind, the INS has strict rules requiring that a couple meet in person and be able to prove a bonafide relationship before being eligible for a fiancé visa. The onset of online love as common place is sure to muddy the political waters. I have, for instance, spoken with a number of people who swear to me that they have never loved a soul on earth more than the online love they have yet to meet. In cases where their foreign love is very poor or comes from a country in which US tourists visas are hard to get, the American often wants to initiate a fiancé application even before the two have a chance to physically meet. But such a relationship is not considered legitimate by the INS.

This raises the necessary question of how genuine online love really is and whether it should be taken seriously enough to constitute a "real" relationship where immigration is concerned.

Susan, an American who moved to Canada to marry her online love Jaime, stresses that "instead of being attracted to physical attributes, through the Internet, people are falling in love with the soul of the individual."  Susan is none too happy about some of the cynicism and negative publicity love on line has received, and she aims to set the record straight.

"Negative experiences can happen on line or off. There will always be a bad seed around to trick or hurt someone," Jaime adds. But the two insist that the online experience has more pros than cons, and in many ways fosters a better grounded love than in-person meetings do.

Even if the INS does scoff at the legitimacy of online love, it won't effect the majority of lovers, who get together and meet first anyway. This raises a serious question as to how much influence this trend (which is unlikely to subside anytime soon) is going to have on the rate of immigration. There is no limit to the number of immediate relatives, including spouses of US citizens, who are allowed to immigrate each year. But if the numbers increase substantially, the backlog may become even more insidious than it is right now. How much of an impact online love will have on immigration remains to be seen, but the possibilities for something noticeable are definitely there.

In 1995, spouses of American citizens constituted 17.1% of the 123,238 immigrants into the US. By 1998, it was 22.9% of 151,172 immigrants. This increase is not all that large and could be attributed to other factors. But considering the youth of the Internet and the length of time it takes to finalize immigration papers, we have to wonder if any current statistics can reveal what impact this trend might have in the near future.

Charlene*, a long-time INS employee with the Houston office, gave us an idea of what she's come across.

"I feel that probably 97%" of those who came into the office "were males" coming in to the INS office to pick up fiancé visa forms. "After they asked all their questions and it was clear to them what they needed to do, and about how long it would take, I would ask how they met their fiancé," and "I can say that maybe 60-65% of that 97% of males had met their fiancé over the Net, and from there they conversed over the phone, wrote letters and finally met them in person. The other 3% are females and maybe not even 1% percent of them have met their fiancés online. This is not to say that maybe those numbers are higher in other areas of the US, at the Houston office,  I just saw a portion of the overall picture. As the Internet grows daily, I'm sure that the fiancé visa petitions will continue to grow in large quantities." 

So clearly, INS employees are aware of this growing trend, though they have not done anything to address it, and may never opt to do so.

"There are going to be more and more online loves where one partner has to choose a country," Susan reiterates. "And it seems silly that a multi-national corporation can transfer people, product and money across national boundaries with impunity and yet love cannot cross those borders as easily," she adds.

Jaime agrees. "We strongly understand the need for laws, however, all governments seem to go from one extreme to another. Used to be, once you were married it was easy, now because of some abusing it, they have made it difficult for those of us who really are married and mean it."

"Clearly," Susan points out, "I did not move here for Canadian benefits. I have no job, no house, no land and no family. I gave up everything to come be with Jaime and that should be very clear.

But wait a second. Jamie and Susan are in Canada. And many other of our American visitors are opting to move to their spouse's country due to easier immigration laws. Some Canadians spouses are also leaving Canada in favor of their fiancé's homeland. Does this mean it will all even itself out?

Perhaps between the English-speaking countries, but probably not overall. Only time will tell.

Incidentally, for those who are curious, Peter and I did not meet on line. Despite coming from different countries, it just so happens that we really did find love right next door, literally.

Yours in international love and marriage,

and

More About(.com) Love on the Net:

Check out our New Section on:

Online, International & Long Distance Love
Check out this new section on our Immigration Issues site.

Online Dating: Interview With Andrew Conru
In this interview with the CEO of Friend Finder, Guide Jason Zien explores the loving side of the Internet Industry.

Dating Advice
Our very own Brenda Ross leads a vibrant dating community on Born Abroad, with myriad articles, stories and pages of advice. Be sure to see her Long Distance Love and Online Love sections.

Lasting Marriage
Once you've done the deed, our marriage guides Bob and Sheri can help you keep it together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Real People In Love Online

Mr. Pearce Meets His Executioner
One of our visitors tells us just how nerve-wracking it really was.

Susan and Jaime Get Married
An American, Susan met her Canadian beau Jaime on line, and the rest, as they say, is history. Dedicated to helping others through the process, she is one of our site's most devoted chat buddies.

Ode to His Long Distance Love
This American met his Arabian love on line and built her her very own shrine.

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